a relief filled with confusion

to say a thing was over, it means its over.
but why does over seems that ur not leaving ?
the secrets are out, and the truth is revealed.
though why does it kill u to just take it in
that im finally leaving and waving my last wave.
open ur eyes and see,
that im happy without thee.
ive found a new sun and hes brighter than none,
so get this in ur brain,
im leaving.
for he is the one for me :)

a day down memory lane

today i spent the day with loved ones. it was real cool ~ long time no visit her house. it was FUN ! and she showed me the old pictures of us when we were all tight n close. all those pictures of us in the toilet :P and during time we kat karaoke jump up n down. haha ~ oh ! and i naik vroom2. again ~ -.-" boleh hitam naik bendalah tu. and the driver was really crazy bawak. like gile2 laju ! and when ada bumper terus tekan lg minyak. well.. lets just say now i know how it feels like to 'fly'. when the driver sent me home, we stopped by at the 10/10/10 playground. it was kinda short but meaningful. and its been 5 months since the whole 10/10 thingy :D and feelings havent changed even a bit !oh and i blushed a lot today

this afternoon+evening pulak met up. and talked about the current issue. then it rained. and i mean it RAINED. so there we were... in the small playground roof and just hand in hand. wuahhh~ sejuk gile *shiver shiver. but it was nice. for once it felt like old times. we even walked at that special lorong. its really amazing on how the smallest things can make u remember and cherish a moment so much :)

it was beautiful untill...

rocked my oral :D came home slept a bit n ate :)

then it came. problems after problems. truth to say im crumbling bit by bit. i know wht they are saying are true and benefitial for me. but i dont need anymore stress now. everytime this surfaces, ppl will expect questions to be answered and answered to be fullfilled. im tryin my best but i've reached an end. im tired. ive lost the spirit to fight. im getting weaker and weaker day by day. my breathing seems to be cut everytime something disturbing surfaces and its scaring me. bt im sure tht u guys dont see tht rite ? well i am a two faced actress. and im a good one at tht.

newly found and restored but missing the old

its kinda funny the story on how i found this blog. well the story goes as my sister opens her blog and somehow my blog seems to pop out for no reason everytime! so... me being curious, opened it and read all the weird and immature stuff i wrote :D but deep inside, i kinda missed that old person. she was really energetic and colourful but she was suffering. but she kept it inside and reassured that everything was fine when it was not. and now the 'new' me is plain and tired and restless. but the good thing is that i've finally opened up about my issues and it kinda gave me some happiness. eventhough it was just for awhile.